Jacob's Dance
by Werewolf hunters
Summary: Jacob and Edward's Danceoff! Srry this is really stupid but whatever! ITS SUPPOSSED TO BE FUNNY! Plus, a random beginning... 1 shot


**Jacob's Dance**

It had been seventeen years since Edward and my wedding day. Jacob Black, who once loved me, was now married to a corky, young woman named Jessica Yodleman. When I had met her, I recognized her as a girl I saw in La Push when I first met Jake and he told me about vampires. Jessica knew about James and Laurent and Victoria so she was determined to keep me safe.

Yo- as I called her- and I had made up a da-bomb greeting. I would say, "Yo, Yo!" and we would both say together, "WE BOTH GOT LUVA BOYS!!! OU, OUUU!!!"

**FLASHBACK**

_We were both in college. It was a sleepover at my house. It was only Jessica Yo and I._

"_So…" Jess began. "Who is the lucky man?"_

"_Well," I hesitated, not wanting to tell her about Edward. "It's… it's Edward Cullen!"_

_She gasped. "No! Edward CULLEN!!! He is SO hot!!!"_

"_I know!" I giggled._

"_You know what else?"_

"_What?"_

"_Me… too…"_

_There was a pause and then-_

"_AHHH!!!" we screamed at the same time and hugged her. We blabbed on about his hot hair, his amazing face, and, most importantly, the hot way he walks._

"_So," I said, interrupting our giggles that we couldn't contain. I stifled a laugh before continuing. "Since Edward is too perfect for us, who do you REALLY like?"_

"_Hmm…" she was lost in thought._

_I leaned in, interested. Her beautiful dark eyes sparkled as she jerked her head up and said, "EDWARD CULLEN!!!"_

_We both giggled._

**FLASHFORWARD**

"Goodnight, Edward," I said while closing my eyes.

"Goodnight, Love," he said.

I wasn't a vampire yet. It wasn't fare. Edward said that he would change me as soon as I married him. Oh, well. I would discuss it in the morning with him, as always…

I was in dream world. I opened my eyes to see that I lay on a soft bed of… marshmallows. Instantly, I gobbled up as many as I could and stuffed my pockets with more. I got up and looked around. I was on top a GINORMOUS marshmallow floating inside a large cup! Surrounding me was hot chocolate!

Suddenly, the cup started moving. I fell back down on my stupid human butt with a… squish, squash. Of course, I thought. Marshmallow bed. Typical.

Then I saw something that startled me. It was Jacob's face, looking straight at me. He was a giant! I screamed and tried to swim away.

"OUCH!! That is very, very hot- oh! Ouch!" I said while jumping back onto the marshmallow again.

"Bella!" Jake beamed. "You want to see my dance?"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Here I'll show you."

He lifted my up out of the cup and set me down on the table. He turned and walked out of the room saying, "I'll be right back!"

"Wait! Jake! Wait! Where are you going?" But he couldn't hear me. Instead, he came back a minute later carrying a large boom box and tap shoes in his right hand and a three foot, black stick in his left. He set the boom box down on the table and put on the tap shoes. He pulled a CD from his pocket and put it into the boom box. He pressed play and set the volume to low because of my little ears.

"Watch this!" he said and picked up his stick. Then he began to dance. His feet clicked this way and that shuffling against the ground. He had a huge cheesy smile on his face, making him look like show business. He tapped for about a minute and then took a bow when the song ended.

"Thank you, thank you very much!" he said in an Elvis Presley accent.

Next time he went away, he came back carrying ballet shoes and a pink tutu. He slipped into the bathroom and came out a moment later with the shoes and outfit on. He looked like one of those creepy old men on TV shows for funny commercials.

That's when the dream got scary.

At that moment Edward walked in. Guess what he was wearing? Yes, a ballet tutu but it was topaz to match his perfect eyes. Edward glared at Jacob and stood by my miniature form. He whispered to me, "Bella, don't worry. I will dance this guy down to the floor."

With that he turned and walked beside Jacob. Instead of exploding, Jacob kept calm. Edward had pressed play on his way over to Jacob. They took position…and… danced. They each did a freestyle ballet for about ten seconds and then took on unison as if they had been practicing for me.

Of course, Edward was the winner and went to my side when the song ended. Jake leaned over the table, panting. When he finally got himself together he shook Edward's hand and left the room. Once he was out of earshot, Edward said, "Hmmm. So, do you think I look good in a tutu?"

I smiled widely without showing teeth. "Dazzling."


End file.
